‘Earlier in the course, you wrote about losing something. Today, write about finding something. For your twist, view day four’s post and today’s post as installments in a series.’
Previously I tackled the first instalment of this series by talking about lost opportunities out of fear. Something that I am trying to tackle, to prevent me having less regrets over time. Which I found to be the key reason I have had an amazing year so far.
I’ve decided now to focus on finding your voice, in a way the literal sense of speaking, but more having the confidence to use your voice. During school I was never one to voluntarily answer questions, it would only happen when a teacher would directly ask me the question. Cue deer in the headlights moment, your brain shuts down and verbal diarrhoea entails, or just a string of urm and I don’t know. I hated debates, or discussions, performances or presentations. Anything that required putting me in the spotlight, ignoring the fact that I rarely paid attention when most people were doing the above, so the chances were when I was doing the same they weren’t either. However, fear and anxiety make you believe everyone is staring, laughing internally and realising how bad you are.
Over the last few years I have been trying to improve my confidence. Which is what most of this comes down to, believing in what you’re saying or thinking. I mean the four above still are my personal hells, so they will take a while to conquer. One of the bigger things was asking for help. You know when you’re stuck or don’t understand something, instead of asking you then sit there afraid to say anything in case the question is stupid. However there is no such thing as a stupid question, I’ve finally learnt that. Education wise teachers actually prefer it as it shows you’re willing to learn. In other situations, if they don’t help, then well at least you gave asking a go.
I’ve also found my voice when giving opinions or ideas, realising how much better it looks. You are actually engaging in the situation instead of a spectator. Of course there’s always the keeping your opinions to yourself if they are negative and aren’t constructive. Because being an opinionated douchebag is just that – being a douchebag.
I still have a long way to finding my voice in certain situations, but Rome wasn’t built in a day and it all just takes practise.