Anxiety 0 – Annmarie 1

One thing that has thwarted my job search over the last few months is my confidence, but mainly my anxiety.

I had recently applied for a temporary job, hoping to gain further experience in that area. I thought I had a good chance, having met the criteria and it also being temporary. I was lucky enough to have received an phone call for an interview. Then they uttered the horrible words –  ‘group interview’. In my mind I didn’t know what to expect. Would it be a panel of people asking questions and then we would have to answer them next to our competition? Something similar to the boardroom in The Apprentice. Or would we be doing group activities, making a bridge or lego tower? The not knowing made it worse.

The night before I had such bad panic attacks, it got to a point during the night where I questioned just blowing off the interview altogether to stop them. Then the logical part of my brain realised regardless of how sleep-deprived and anxious I would be, going would allow me to use it as practice for a proper job, no matter how badly it went. The fact that the more of them I do, the less likely I was going to feel like this.

The question side of the interview I answered well. We were sat around as a group answering one after another as I thought. But luckily my previous jobs helped me a lot. When it came to the role play (I wouldn’t call it a role play) exercise. I was given the worst of the role, every other one I had ideas for, the one I was given? none. In the end I just gave an honest answer, and then mentioned my mind was blank. By then I knew I had messed it up. Everyone else had agreed to the scheme, whilst my character didn’t going against the companies values and beliefs! I realised once I had opened my mouth I had shot myself in the foot, by being honest.

We were told we would hear back that afternoon as to whether we had the job or not. It had got to 6pm and I had come to terms with the inevitable rejection email, I would see the following day. However, at 8pm I received a phone call from a number I didn’t recognise to say I had got the job, and had impressed them so much I had been promoted to a leadership role. Needless to say I was extastic, it was the first step I had been looking for.

I started the role this week. Man do I now have a new found admiration for postmen. The size of the blisters I have gotten are unreal, and the blisters that have grown into other blisters and amalgamated into this weird painful alien on my feet. It has also taught me how stressful it is to be a manager of temperamental characters, who can switch to a firey dragon very quickly. And just when I thought I had cracked that hard outer shell and reached the soft molten inside, it’ll come back with a sharp bite. Well I only have three more weeks of it.

Annmarie xoxo

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